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Sex and Spine

Sexuality is an integral part of normal and healthy relationships. It need not be the first thing abandoned when you or your significant other is suffering from back or neck pain. Pain, and especially spine pain, can have a negative impact on sex. This is because people are afraid to hurt themselves, the movements do actually hurt, or sometimes, because pain or medication reduce desire.

It is a very common problem and one that is infrequently discussed or written about for people with back or neck pain. People who are suffering with pain often feel embarrassed to talk about it, even with their doctor. A survey showed 67% of patients had never discussed the impact of their back pain on their sex life with their spine specialist. Even if you have chronic pain, it should not prevent you from enjoying this part of your relationship.

Understandably, the limitations brought about by back pain may produce stress that can damage a relationship. The person who doesn’t have the pain often finds it difficult to understand what his or her partner is experiencing. The negative effects that pain has been causing in a couple’s sex life can sometimes spill over into other aspects of the relationship.

Good communication is critical. Otherwise, one partner may mistakenly interpret a reluctance to engage in sexual activity as an excuse for not wanting to be close, which can lead to feelings of rejection and resentment.

Many conditions of the spine can make certain positions uncomfortable. These are usually easily overcome with some thought and experimentation. The general rule is "If it hurts do not do it". Positions that are not comfortable in your day-to-day activities will not be comfortable during sex either, but do not be afraid to try out new positions.

As a rule, the partner with lower back pain should take a passive role in lovemaking, with the other partner introducing stimulation in a very relaxed manner. Just remember to take it slow. And identify which movements are comfortable and which ones hurt and should be avoided. Sometimes intercourse is too painful, but sexual affection and action are not limited to intercourse. Do not be afraid to experiment, there is no right or wrong, normal or abnormal.

The most important thing is to communicate with your partner, and to touch and show affection to each other.
The Patient Line website offers information for patients with spinal conditions:
Sciatica, back pain, spinal stenosis, disc herniation, scoliosis and many other spine conditions explained in a clear reliable, and trustworthy way. Not for profit EUROSPINE experts are here to help patients and their families understand what may be worrying them.

EUROSPINE is a society of spine specialists of various disciplines with a large knowledge of spine pathologies. All well-known and accepted treatment modalities for spine pathologies are represented by the members of the society. However, the Society cannot accept any responsibility for the use of the information provided; the user and their health care professionals must retain responsibility for their health care management.

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page last updated on 05.04.2019